I was very fortunate to have been able to know Mom as a friend, as well as a mother. That wasn’t an easy thing to do. She wasn’t one to talk about herself. In fact she NEVER talked about herself or her childhood on a personal level. I asked her about it once and she said she never thought anyone would be interested.
I thought that was sad and realized how important it was to get to know this woman, my mother. After she retired she and I helped to start an investment club here in New Jersey and she would drive up from Annapolis once a month for the meetings and stay with us for several days.
These visits were the beginning of a new and very eye opening relationship with Mom. She got to know my family and they got to know her. The dinner time conversations were amazing with David, Chelsea, Lisa and Jamsion making her laugh and as she became more comfortable with our very open forums she started coming back with stories and one liners that would have us rolling with laughter.
She and I spent hours together talking about our children, our lives, of course our dogs and most importantly our feelings about things. I learned about her life as a child and how lonely it was. How she found solace in books and school. Her sister, Ann, was 7 years older than she was and her mother had a serious longterm illness. Her father, whom she doted on, was dedicated to caring for her mother leaving Mom alone much of the time.
It broke my heart hearing her tell these stories about her growing up. But, I remember watching her face as she would tell them and I suddenly realized that she wasn’t telling them with sadness. She wasn’t asking me to feel sorry for her and she wasn’t even angry. I realized that she used this time in her life to build a better life for herself. It was what created her drive to be successful and move past them. She didn’t go around and blame others for her mistakes or failures. She persevered and moved forward and stayed focused.
But, as many of you know, her life did not get easier.
In her life she has lost her husband after just ten years of marriage, her son at two months old, and her grand daughter, Hannah, at age 4. She was left alone to raise three children when she was only 33 years old and she still kept going.
She taught by example. She worked hard, never backed down when faced with hardship and she was always there for us. She gave us everything she had to give and isn’t that really all we can ask of ourselves and others?
The one thing that I don’t remember her doing a lot is laughing. But then I remember, her grandchildren taught her that. You can see in the pictures the looks of wonder and love in her face when she held each of her grandchildren. She adored each one of you. And one of my favorite memories is when she met Addy. The look on her face when she held her and watched her was priceless. Thank goodness we were able to capture them on film for Addy to have.
So here is what I learned from Mom in a nutshell. There are only two things that are really important in this life.
The first is pretty obvious to all of us and that is the love of dogs. They love unconditionally and forgive us for any and all that we do. It just doesn’t get any better then that. We have had 25 dogs in our collective lives. I am going to name each one because I know everyone in this room has a memory or two of one or more of them. If I forget one I apologize ahead of time.
Here goes:
Caezar
Laddy
Sandy
Fancy
Wiggles
Butchy
Timmy
Tommy
Snuffles
Tessa
Gretchen
Bonzo
Kernel
Cobie
Sasha
Marta
Heidi
Cassy
Cammie
Misha
Kela
Sydney
Piper
Tessa
Mia
Kibbles
Ripkin
The second important thing that Mom taught me is maybe not so obvious but he has played almost as big a roll in our lives without many of you even realizing it. That is, of course, Pooh. Winnie the Pooh and his friends are the embodiment of all that is good in the world. They teach us about friendship, curiosity, loyalty, and making the most from what we have in our hearts. There was a part of each one of the characters in the Hundred Acre Woods in Mom.
I will end with one of the poems that was one of Mom’s favorites. It was one that her mother read to her and Mom and I read to each one of my children.
Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh...
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
"Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.
"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh,
"Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.
"I think it ought to be twenty two."
"Just what I think myself," said Pooh.
"It wasn't an easy sum to do,
But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what it is," said Pooh.
"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few...
"Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.
"As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what they are," said Pooh.
"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!"... and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."
So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said... "True,
It isn't much fun for One, but Two
Can stick together," says Pooh, says he.
"That's how it is," says Pooh.
From maryannrabbe
Thought
